I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
