So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
