so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
