Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
