Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
