"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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