Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
