I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i will never coherently bang her
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
