happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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