i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
