Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We need to rekindle our bromance
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize