guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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