It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
