her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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