he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
