Me too!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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