so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
