sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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