If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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