Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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