I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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