So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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