this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
