I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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