break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
