The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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