she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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