Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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