AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So much rum. So many feels.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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