the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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