my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Randomize
