He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
