Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
