I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
