What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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