I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love you.
Bad choice
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
