I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
