Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
