I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Randomize
