I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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