Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
