Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
