it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
