Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
