margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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