I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
