Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize