I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
