my soul wont recognize me after tonight
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
