Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
