i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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