i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
