That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
