Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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