That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
