therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
smell my finger.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
