she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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