yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
