I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
