he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
